My belief is that they don’t understand what’s happening in the economy and how it relates to the digital reality since 2000. These are smart people who could probably wax poetic about Smith Barney, Obama, trade deficits, and gold investments long after I’ve fallen asleep. But what they fail to understand is their deep understanding of Wall Street Journal articles is not a substitute for internet ignorance.

Their idea of the internet is stuck somewhere between eBaum’s World and College Humor – or perhaps World of Warcraft. To them, email is a great tool for sending out mass invitations (oddly demanding an RSVP, but as a sort of special torture to themselves, refusing to use one of the online invitation services to handle it). The love the  internet for checking their bank account or paying their bills.

And of course, many people seem to find delight in sharing their personal lives with tools like Facebook. Usually while at work and on the clock.

To them, LinkedIn is just another Facebook clone. It’s just stale and boring. After all, it doesn’t seem like too many people are talking about great places to eat on LinkedIn.

So, why are they so unaware of the power and potential of LinkedIn?

Because they wrongly think that when or if they lose their job during this economy that they will find their next job the way the found their previous one. Unfortunately for them, they haven’t looked for a job in ten years or more. These are the people who are and who will be greatly suffering.

Here’s what will happen to them in a nutshell: (This is known as the Old Way, or perhaps, the Absolutely Dead Wrong Way to Get a Job post-2005). Let’s follow the adventures of an engineer named “Sparky”. Imagine him between the ages of 35 and 55. He has worked with a solid track record for 10+ years for the same company or government contractor. (However, this could apply to nearly anyone in a professional line of work – college grad or not.)

1. Expresses amazement and/or bewilderment that he was laid-off, fired, demoted, or transferred. Expresses it to everyone he knows. They nod silently and wonder equally silently “Was this guy in la-la land?” (3 weeks)
2. Sparky determines to get back on the horse again. (1 week)
3. Goes to library and check out books (written 20 years ago) about “Best Resumes on the Planet Earth” and revamps his resume to match. If Sparky is a college grad, he takes great care to mention it proudly and loudly since his first employers were always so impressed with it. Doesn’t realize that nobody cares anymore and his degree could be in “Pressing Fish Oil” – it wouldn’t be noticed until HR was filing out his employee profile in PeopleSoft. (1 week)
4. Hears about Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com and posts his resume on there. Thinks it looks like a “great way” to get noticed. Probably pays for the extra services they offer, too. (1 week)
5. Announces to family and friends that he is doing a full-blown internet job search. Starts applying to jobs found on Monster, Careerbuilder, etc. (3 weeks)
6. During those three weeks, gets lots of great calls from needy door-to-door insurance companies, Kirby vacuum cleaner reps, “engineers” from India attempting to staff offices in Portland or Atlanta (he doesn’t mind moving, right?), and an ever-increasing avalanche of “recruiters” who “found his resume “online” (never being sure exactly where) and have a position they might be interested in – positions for which he is totally unqualified, but will take 15 minutes of his time for the recruiter to realize this. I use the term “avalanche” here because recruiters are equally destructive. Most front-line recruiters are 25-30 years old, on their first or second job, and have the depth and understanding of your field equivalent to an Enterprise Rent-A-Car Manager Trainee – but just as well dressed and ignorantly chipper. They also are hired (almost exclusively) to run massive database searches for “potential” job candidates and call them repeatedly. Your high-powered mobile phone (which you convinced your wife would be a good investment during your job search) has now become a curse.
7. Finally, Sparky begins to send emails to some lost long contacts (the few he has from Facebook or his last job). (2 weeks).
8. Realizes that the few replies he even gets have encouraging and insightful advice such as “I think I saw a sign over at the Piggly-Wiggly yesterday while I was buying some wine and cheese for a little party I was throwing last night. Or was it Winn-Dixie?”, or “I’m sure Suzie Q. down in HR at my old stomping grounds, DumpyWorld, Inc., can probably find you something – she and I go way back!” (you learn later that Suzie Q. died three years ago), or “Shoot me an email next month. I might have something opening up!” (you forget 90% of the time due to the side-effects of anti-depressants you recently started taking, but the one time you remember you get a reply that says, “OMG! I thought you had found something already. We just hired a great guy (my golfing buddy, actually!), but if he doesn’t work out, I’ll definitely keep you in mind”.
9. Decides to finally start networking and build up a “network” list. Feels absolutely cheesy and greasy while doing this, mostly because he’s doing it with pen and paper while at Burger King eating a cheeseburger. Thinks of about 22 people and decides to start contacting them.
10. Fails to connect with them (everyone hates the unemployed – they are losers) and decides to go live under a bridge until he can figure out how to catch carp with his bare hands or until Jesus comes back, whichever comes first.

Now, here’s the correct way. Let’s not call it the New Way, or the Best Way, or the Smartest Way. Let’s just call it the Correct Way.

First, realize that if you wait to toot your own horn in an interview by whipping out a stack of reference letters (you did remember to get reference letters at prior jobs, right?), you might never get that interview. You must promote yourself first and then get the interview. Remember, an interview is nothing more than a formal introduction. I always look at interviews as my first day of work. I’m nobody super-special, but I’ve only failed to get a job a few times from interviews. (See “12 Reasons to Walk out of a Job Interview“). Some employers hate it… I get up, walk around, ask questions of other employees on the way and out of an interview. I don’t do it as an “act” of boldness or anything. I’m working there for that time period and this is my last easy chance to walk away clean. No way am I going to get a real sense of a place talking to one or two people who are “prepped” to interview. Another hint: always use the bathroom away from the lobby or front of the building. Wait until (or demand to be taken on) a tour and then grab a back bathroom. It can be telling.

So here are the steps to take while you are still employed

1. Find your old LinkedIn login. You probably created one in 2008 but got sidetracked with Farmville or Halo III.
2. Login to your Professional Network. Notice it is nearly empty.
3. Delete your brother Goofus Maximus from your Connections. Also, delete the girl from 7th grade. Don’t worry – they won’t notice. Neither has logged in since 2008 either.
4. Start looking for co-workers, bosses, and underlings from prior jobs. Start with your oldest job and move forward.
5. After each approved connection, scour their connections to see if you forgot someone.
6. Don’t discount people. The garage mechanic from 20 years ago with whom you had a great repertoire when you had to use the back bathroom may now be the Chief Aircraft Engineer of Lockheed Martin – and is married to the head of H.R.
7. Ask for referrals. These don’t come by magic. Ask for them. But most and far more importantly, go give them. You should ideally have written two referrals for every one you receive. Otherwise, you’re just a selfish oaf. (Here’s a great article about “Paying it Forward Using LinkedIn“). Keep in mind you are not alone; others could really use a helping hand from you.

That’s it. Period.

Okay, not quite. Through LinkedIn, you can find out and interact with great groups in your field. Professional groups. Give a hand to people. Give advice. Show off what you know. Participate.

Not only are you filling your time with positive contributions to others, but you might be rewarded one day with an opportunity.

LinkedIn makes it easy to see when your connections get a raise, get promoted, or…. lose their job!

So, if you lose yours, post that in your status. Update your employment record. People will notice. If you’ve done your homework, built up your network, contributed to others, and been an all-around swell guy (or gal!), getting your new job might be as simple as this:

1. Post “Laid off from Mighty Flighty. What great organization can I contribute to next?”
2. Receive phone calls and emails from connections begging you to come work for them.
3. Get job and post “Excited to start working at Standout Stars this Monday”.

THE END

It comes down to three reasons. But first…

A Little Background

This last time was my third time on Facebook. The first time was before anyone outside of college campuses had heard of it. I was a bit too early. I got responses to my invites that said, “What is this?”, or “I’m on MySpace! Come friend me there instead!”. After gaining about 22 friends, I gave up and quit.

Fast forward to one year later when suddenly I was getting invites from non-technical friends on a weekly basis. I rejoined. I reconnected with everyone. Even some kids from elementary school. I had almost 300 friends when, on a whim, I deleted the account and disappeared off the social networking grid. At the time, I had read more than my fair share of lunch descriptions and received more Mafia Wars updates than any human should endure. Mostly, I was just going through a phase and had decided that Facebook, after the initial euphoria of connecting with a long lost friend, actually made me feel more lonely. The amazing lives of some friends (who made sure to document every portion of it on Facebook) didn’t do much to help me on those darker days. And of course, there was the never-ending snarky comments and witty repertoire that competed for “humor” – of which I was equally guilty.

I literally disappeared for about eight months. I even rudely did not return some well-meaning emails because, well, I didn’t know quite what to say. Due to some personal life events, I also did not realize that those eight months had flown by before I started reaching back out to a few friends. Of course, I was involved with my local friends as always – just not sharing and posting on the internet. I nearly lost one friendship for that lapse in judgment.

So, I promised I would rejoin, take it easy, keep a balance, just use it to share a few family photos here and there. I made the promise to two people specifically for whom I care a great deal. I also promised myself I would not go overboard and gain too many friends so as not to be distracted unnecessarily by the “noise”. I planned on limiting myself to 100 contacts. I never got more than 79 this time.

But this weekend, I had to, very unfortunately, break all those promises. There’s no way to sugar coat it. I won’t be going back.

I will still participate in online communities, forums, professional networks, share photos, and of course, email. But I won’t be returning to Facebook. Because of those promises to others and myself, and because the very nature of Facebook creates an attachment that leaves a hole once you delete your profile, and because I will get inquiries from others as to “why” (and no, I’m no popular superstar – just an average guy), I felt I should outline my three reasons.

1. Facebook isn’t real life

This was my favorite quote on my profile. I wrote it as a reminder to myself. It didn’t work. The reality is that Facebook has a funny way of becoming the singular medium for every interaction with friends. Well, maybe Facebook and text messages. But they are poor and cheap substitutes for the real thing. The argument can be made that without Facebook we might have even less contact with others. I agree. But, the contact we are getting is so impersonal compared to the real thing, that for me at least, I’d rather go without and spend more time working on talking and meeting with the people I care about.

By way of illustration, I received a Facebook “message” from a sweet friend who wrote to me from an iPhone while waiting for their child to finish up a sports activity. It was brief and thoughtful, but in my mind I imagined this friend sitting in their car – all alone – not really watching their child, not reading a book or magazine, but instead thumbing through their Facebook app on their iPhone trying, in a lonely way, to reach out to a few friends in those precious minutes, and just… exist. To just be human and connect. I’m sure I over-imagined the matter, but I thought, “What if there was no Facebook?” and “What if this was ten years ago?”. I figured they would have instead got out of the car into the beautiful sunlight, maybe chatted with another parent also waiting, or watched their child more closely, or even read a book and gained a little knowledge and perspective in life. This very friend deactivated their account the next week, only to return a few weeks later when they received a handful of criticism and concern from other friends. Facebook isn’t real life. And I admit being one of the few who wrote encouraging them to come back and just take it slow this time. I shouldn’t have. They did the right thing.

2. Facebook no longer cares about privacy

As of Facebook’s latest changes to user privacy, it has become clear that founder Mark Zuckerberg is fast becoming a megalomaniac. He and the board of Facebook have decided that users should have no rights to compartmentalize their relationships (as we might normally do in real life) and should we try to on Facebook, they will make it very difficult for users to reconfigure their privacy settings, and in many cases, impossible. This very week, the front page of Wired Magazine’s website took Zuckerberg to task in a well-written piece titled, “Facebook’s Gone Rogue“. I highly recommend everyone who decides to stay on Facebook read this article. (There are alternative views, most notably Robert Scoble’s “Much Ado About Privacy“).

3. Facebook has lost its way

This for me is the clincher. At some point, we all began deciding that it was easier to use Facebook to share a photo, or to tell some family news, than to send an email. It used to be. But the conflagration of options, privacy settings, and intrusive third-party applications, combined with Facebook’s disregard for the ownership of our own private data has sent a clear message to some users like me: It’s easier to email photos and updates than to use Facebook. In fact, it’s fast becoming easier to snail mail than to use Facebook. To me, Facebook has forgotten its original mission in exchange for the pursuit of power and money.

I’m a very technical guy. It would be little trouble for me to become a subject-matter expert on every change and setting of Facebook. I might already be one in contrast to some of my friends. But I choose not to. I choose not to spend my limited time on earth chasing after a rainbow of Facebook perfectionism. First, each month could bring new and unexpected changes from Zuckerberg and company. There’s really no oversight or control that can reign in this young man. Only good character. Unfortunately, he’s already shown that he will renege on his word (and that of his company’s) if the winds of change blow his way. Especially if those winds bring with them the potential to use my and your content for his gain. I’d rather pay $25/year and maintain control of my content and privacy, than to get a so-called ‘free’ service that has no problem declaring to the entire world such things as my employer, relationship status, educational history, and every favorite organization, movie, book, television show, and musical artist I’ve ever enjoyed. Facebook says that if I want to share those things with my friends I must share them with everyone or spend 30 minutes pouring through help files, FAQ’s, privacy settings – and then repeating that process next month possibly when they change it all again.

No, thank you. I’m out.

I’m hardly surprised. I’m not even really disappointed. I won’t miss Facebook at all. I know most friends won’t email me every photo they post on Facebook. I know I’ll hear less general updates from them. I’m fully okay with that and I hope they are and know that I care about them as much as I did before Mark Zuckerberg and his college buddies started toying with databases and websites. I’m hardly alone either (see Danny Sullivan’s post this week about the increase of people inquiring how to delete their Facebook accounts).

In conclusion

I adore every friend I have. I treasure every relationship. I hope that I can be just as plugged in now as I was before, but I fully acknowledge that likely won’t be the case. In many cases, this might be a good thing. I won’t miss the crass or snarky humor – and I doubt they will miss mine either.

I intend to use the time I would otherwise have spent on Facebook instead getting to know people – in person, if possible, over the phone, if not. And of course, I’ll continue to use email from time-to-time.

And for those special few who are probably rolling their eyes and wondering how many days it will be before I’m back on, maybe I’ll send them an actual hand-written letter in the mail. Won’t that be special?

UPDATE: (5/11/2010) John Dvorak (a favorite tech columnist of mine for over 20 years) has an article out today titled “The Computer is a Communications Disease“. It doesn’t mention Facebook once (although maybe he should have). The general premise of his point is, at least, amusing, and at worst, apocalyptic. I’m surprised he didn’t reference the “internet” in the Terminator movies (Skynet) becoming self-aware and realizing we (humans) were it’s only real threat to existence.

See also

• Why to quit Facebook, leave MySpace, and abandon social networking: An article I wrote that I continually update with people (some celebs!) who publicly announce their reasons for deleting their social networking life.
• KillerRobots: A humorous (or maybe not so humorous) blog that chronicles how we are building robots that will one day kill us all. I’m already thinking a Facebook robot could be the ultimate extension of Zuckerberg’s quest for Total World Domination. It would come over and punch you in the nose if you “liked” something that most of your “friends” did not. Or maybe they would just be Facebook Login Enforcement Android (FLEA!) agents that would come to your door, in groups of two or three, wearing black FBI-style suits and wearing sunglasses, and politely “remind” you to login and post a status update… about something! Like “FLEA agents at my door! Help!”

Plus, there is really one rule.

1. Don’t go through the Drive-Thru: Unless the doors of the business are closed, and you must absolutely do this here and now, simply do not use the drive-thru. Even if it’s raining.

Now, since that is the only Rule, it seems only fair to describe why.

1. Save gas: Drive-thru’s almost always cost more in gas than simply shutting your car off and walking inside. Get out of the box with wheels. Save some coin and pump less carbon monoxide into the air.
2. Get exercise: Look. You are already in a hurry enough, else you wouldn’t be compromising your diet with fast-food. Even at a bank drive-thru, which is more like a sit-thru, you could use a slight caloric burn. Getting up and down is good for you. That’s what football players do. Don’t be sedentary. Then, there’s the walking. A 170-pound person walking two minutes burns 9 calories. Not a lot, but 9 more than you would have burned sitting in the car.
3. Get face-to-face time: Our e-commerce, text-messaging society gives you less time with strangers than ever before. Sure, maybe it’s a good thing, but we were created to see people’s faces when talking to them. Get more eye contact in your day.
4. Better service: We all know the people at the counter receive better service more often than the people in their cars outside. Probably because of Reason #3.
5. Rekindle community: You might discover a friend who is inside. Or you might make a new contact. You can check out the bulletin board for local events. Or just people watch. Don’t worry; you’ll be back to staring at taillights soon enough.
6. Become a VIP: Okay, maybe the fast food restaurant employees don’t care who you are – even if you eat there every day. But after a while, they might smile and show some recognition. Banks and pharmacies will often be more personable to you. You become more real to them by walking inside.
7. Use the bathroom: If times are tough, why not let them pay for your flush? Seriously, it might be a good time to freshen up for a moment. Sometimes we are in such a hurry we forget the awesome feeling of washing our face.
8. Slow down: Getting out of your car forces you to take just a few seconds to readjust your expectations of others, your time, and your day. It only takes an extra minute or two, although I’ve beaten the drive-thru queue on more than one occasion. But, the main reason is to reclaim your own time. Do you want to be the person that can’t afford a single extra minute or two in their life? Do you want to be that busy? This is your little way of saying that you are not.
9. Eat healthier: This one applies just to fast-food places. At the drive-thru, you have little time (and information) to make better choices. Inside, you can ask to see the nutrition chart and pick something healthier. Even the small act of picking something different, even if not substantially more nutritious, can be healthy in that you are getting out of a rut, experiencing something new. Take your time and browse the menu inside without getting honked at from behind.
10. Breathe healthier: If you sit in your car breathing plastic toxins, that’s not swell. If you roll down your windows, then you breathe the fumes of the cars in front. I hold no illusions about the air just outside a commercial building, but it’s a little better. So is the sun on your face.

Bonus: A few tips to make your next fast-food restaurant experience more enjoyable:

• Minimize waste. Fast-food restaurants use a massive amount of disposable materials which fill up your city’s landfill (if they make it to the landfill at all). When they ask “For here or to-go”, say “For here”. Then, just take all the food off the tray and carry it out in your bare hands. C’mon… it’s a drink, a bag of fries, and a wrapped burger. You can do it. And you just saved another plastic bag.
• Eat outside. If they don’t have tables, just eat on the curb. Like you did when you were a teenager. Or eat on the hood of your car. Enjoy the sun, take a few minutes to relax, watch people go in and out of the place, and unwind.
• Accomplish something. Read at least one article in your Mobile Reading Item (MRI) before getting up to leave (even if you eat inside). Actually finish the article so you have a sense of accomplishment. Of course, don’t do this if you are with people or run into an acquaintance.

But, what about the rain? Ah, yes, the rain. Conventional wisdom seems to be to crowd the drive-thru when it rains.

Considering few drive-thru’s have decent rain covers (and if they do, you’ll breathe in even more nasty fumes), you are going to get your car interior wet while rolling down your window. Convince yourself that the rain on your mop will do more good than the rain in your car. Experience nature for a few seconds. Plus, you get to run inside rather than walk. More exercise!

As to why anyone would quit Facebook or social networking in general, I point not only to the posts above, but the stressful obligation people have to continue to participate in these communities (by posting updates, tweets, photos), and their fear of taking a break, or quitting altogether.

Rather than rant about my reasons for quitting Facebook, or creating an article called “Top 10 reasons to quit MySpace”, I’d rather let others do the talking for me.

I present below a list of people who have quit Facebook or left social networking altogether and links to their posts (with my favorite excerpts) as to their reasons. I encourage you to read their entire articles to develop an understanding of their reasoning.

All this post is dated January 9, 2010, I will be updating it in the future as other people post similar compelling arguments, particularly if they are prominent or public figures.

I am not discouraging social community building nor blogging (in its purest form – although you may wish to read “Everything I Know is Wrong“, a book review I wrote on my tech blog back in June 2008), but encouraging others to live simply and think about the actual effects of Facebook as it pertains to their relationships.

Nothing personal, former Facebook friends: I’ll miss those wall updates about doing dishes and changing the kitty litter. I’ll miss seeing those artsy photos of beach sunsets and city streets covered with snow. I’ll miss posting those, I mean. I’ll miss your constant name dropping and updates that make sure we all know you’re camping in a hemp tent on a sustainable emu farm in Costa Rica, or that you eat only dolphin-free tuna, and I should too. But most of all, I will miss those hundreds upon hundreds of baby pictures that remind me daily of how insanely happy I am that my kids aren’t babies any more.

Daniel Sieberg – CBS News Science & Technology Correspondent
My Declaration of Disconnection (Jan 2010)

But the epiphany for me was that I’d become a terrific “broadcaster” and a terrible “communicator.” Somehow in our 140-character Twitterverse the intimate details of their lives had escaped me. And isn’t that the important stuff? Not constantly sharing our geographical location or which restaurant we ate at or in my case when I’m appearing on a certain news program. It seems to me there was an awful lot of “telling” going on and not a lot of “listening.”

Ed Desautels – Author
Long on Face, Short on Book – My Experience with Facebook, and Why I’ve Quit (Aug 2009)

While there’s the appearance of connectedness and “networking” in the Facebook environment, I perceived a huge gap between the real-world me and the real-world friend with whom I was supposed to be interacting. This gap, to my mind, is distorted by the Facebook environment itself, which encourages that one-way, Look-at-Me-Generation brand of communication. It’s a communication strategy that is neither satisfying nor effective, and which is, to my mind, not particularly healthy.

Hannah VanderPoel – Student Writer for North By Northwestern, Northwestern University’s Independent Student Magazine
How Quitting Facebook Reminded Me of the Importance of Having a Good Old-Fashioned Conversation ( Feb 2009)

Quitting Facebook is kind of like quitting your job. It’s hard to do, but harder still is breaking the news to your nearest and dearest. Some even seemed slightly offended, as though my failure to continue our friendship via Facebook somehow diminished our friendship in real life. Reactions were not the ones of indifference that I’d expected, but ones of worry and fear: “Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone about this? How will you know what’s going on?” Most assumed it was a minor blip, a short bout of a predictable mid-college crisis that is the twenty-something equivalent to purchasing a Ferrari — a kick that would last a couple weeks max, after which I would regain my senses and return to normal. Several times I heard the same old adage: “I’ll give you a week.” After so much skepticism, it admittedly became harder to stick to my guns. A barrage of doubtful reactions began to make me wonder if my decision was impulsive, or whether or not it meant I was just plain starting to lose it. I think the pinnacle was when someone asked me point-blank if I had social issues. (A personal note: I am not socially-phobic. The whole point of quitting was to put more stock in my social world, not my cyber one.)

Inspiration

• Article: How Facebook ruins friendships – Elizabeth Bernstein, Wall Street Journal
• Article: Cell phone holdouts are right: Buy a phone, become a baby – Lenore Skenazy, Free Range Kids
• Article: Facebook Exodus – Virginia Heffernan, New York Times

It’s possible, however, that

1. you are on Facebook anyway no matter your feelings about omitting needless distractions. I’m not going to change that.
2. you might need to be on some social media networks for business.
3. if you have to be on a social network, or are responsible for marketing something (yourself, your business, your employer’s business), you might as well add balance and focus to your efforts there.

With that in mind, I encourage you to go read Aliza Sherman’s post on Web Worker Daily entitled “Revisiting 10 Golden Rules of Social Media“.

She took her simple 10 rules and revamped them to five rules. If I had obeyed those five rules from Day One in Social Media, I’d be better off.

The extremes with many people are either to avoid all social media and networking (i.e. “off the grid”), or to be fully 24/7 a twitter-head and have 900 friends on Facebook. The healthy balance is found in Aliza’s rules which allow you to participate in a helpful and community-minded way.

Take for example Aliza’s Rule #2:

Add Value. The term “value” is subjective, but once you have truly listened, you will be able to discern with relative certainty what is valuable to any given conversation or community. Can you add value to the conversation, not just an empty voice? Can you be a resource? A supporter? A cheerleader? An organizer? What is your social media value proposition?

You can’t have 900 real friends or be off the grid if you think of others in this way. In this way, Aliza is promoting the best Golden Rule of all: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Whether that’s on a internet website or in person, her rules are solid guidelines for reflection. Bookmark them before you fire off that next forum post.

1. We eat too much.
2. We get stuff we don’t need.
3. We buy stuff for friends and family that we can’t afford.

Whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, or even Valentine’s Day, this is a problem.

The solution?

1. Don’t eat too much: Don’t eat anything more than normal. If there are lots of dishes at someone else’s meal to which you are invited, take a bite of everything, but overload on nothing. If you can’t walk a mile after eating, something’s wrong.
2. Bring a healthy dish: If you are asked to bring a dish, make it a super-healthy one. Yes, you’ll be viewed as a Scrooge. Or a fuddy-duddy. Whatever that is. But you’ll be counter-acting the onslaught of calories that others attack you with. Think of your dish as a shield. You are Captain America. Don’t you want to be Captain America?
3. Give gift certificates: Don’t give store-bought gifts. Give gift certificates – home-made ones, not those little credit-card looking things. A car wash for your neighbors, a massage for your wife, a day at a park or nature trail for your children, a “defend you at all costs” ticket for your boss, and a “drive you to work one week” for a coworker with an unreliable car.
4. Accept no store-bought gifts: Best way is to pick a charity and (politely) announce to all potential (or obligated) gift givers that you would like nothing more than a donation (of any amount) given to this charity. Works great if charity has online program that can be done instantly. For extra cool points, choose only local charities. If needed, pick up donation cards and envelopes ahead of time – or make your own.
5. Make crafts: Start early. Children enjoy making things for each other and for Mom and Dad. Don’t kill that spirit with mall shopping, making consumers out of nine-year olds. A lovely afghan from your wife, or maybe a fresh wreath, or the children making a pillow, new curtains, or pencil holders are just a few ideas. If you are good with tools, you could make a bike rack, a new custom headboard for your bed, or maybe a shoe rack for your wife’s shoes.

Inspiration

• Book: Gifts from the Heart: Simple Ways to Make Your Family’s Christmas More Meaningful – Virginia Brucker
• Website: JustGive.org – Can search for local charities by zip code, too.

Why?

1. Almost as Fast: Around town, you will only take a few minutes more. Sometimes, you will still get there in the same time (due to lights, traffic, etc).
2. Save gas: Probably about 2-5 mpg depending on your car and how fast you accelerate. These guys got 1,445 miles (81.5mpg) on a 2010 Ford Fusion.
3. Fresh air: You are indoors enough.
4. Observe: Notice how crazy/busy everyone is. Feel happy you have some control at that moment. You are setting your life’s pace – not others.
5. Discover: Notice new developments about town, hidden side-streets, leaves falling, workers working, etc. Let your creativity have a small place in your thought process as you dwell on things more often.
6. Be safe: Less chance of an accident, and less damage if you have one.
7. No more tickets: Unless you are driving really slow, you can’t even get a warning. Sure, the traffic cops will eye you suspiciously (especially if you are young and live in a no radar detector state), but that’s their problem.
8. Peace: Even if driving quickly and even aggressively is a mad skill of yours (as it is for me), it does cause stress. At first driving slow might cause you stress until you get used to it after a week or so.

But? What if…

1. people yell and honk at you? Smile. Look at them as people, as if you were both riding bikes, instead of driving cars. Relax. They’ll live. They are just trapped into thinking that they won’t.
2. you are running late for something important? Is it important? If it really is, maybe you should leave earlier next time. It’s not like you are reading this in the car right now. This post is about the future. Plan ahead.
3. you have to listen to people dropping bass or playing accordion lullabies? Listen to it. It won’t kill you. It’s only for a minute at a stop light. Think about them, their life, and where they might be going, and who they think they are trying to impress with their 1.21 gigawatt sound system. It’s kind of fun.
4. it is raining? or snowing? or hailing? or tornadoing? Roll the windows up silly. Drive even slower.

Inspiration

• Book: Traffic: Why we drive the way we do (and what it says about us) – Tom Vanderbilt
• Blog Post: The 10 Essential Rules for Slowing Down and Enjoying Life More – Leo Babauta

1. Length: Do not send email longer than one question.
2. Content: Only send a question. A sentence is information. People do not want information emailed to them. Unless they asked.

Receiving email

1. Response time: Wait 7 days before replying. Shorter implies you check email all day. Don’t be a geek.
2. Thread killer: Add footer to all outgoing email that states “I hardly ever check email, but feel free to reply if you need further clarification”.
3. If you must reply: Information asked for must be sent in the space of one line. An address. A telephone number.

Delete email (preferably without reading) if…

1. if you are not in “To:” field. Gmail and others can even do it for you.
2. if there are no direct questions to you (by name).
3. if email is longer than 2 paragraphs.
4. if email includes attachments.
5. if email has weblinks in it. Especially if it says “Check out this cool link!”
6. if email has photos. Even if the photos are really, really cute.
7. if email is from a business. Find way to unsubscribe. Even if it’s your bank or the Red Cross.

Other ways than email to send stuff

1. Written word: Send all personal essays, discourses, & heartfelt correspondence via U.S. Mail. It will cost money. Important stuff always does. Plus, people might actually read it.
2. Photos: post on photo-sharing service. Then recipient can print/share/make-a-calender/whatever with them. They might never join. Be prepared for this. Else drive to their house with printed copies.
3. Videos: Nobody cares. If you get 100,000 views on YouTube, we’ll see it eventually. No need to send link.

Other emails that “count” against you even though you didn’t actually send them

1. Website invites: Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, and Twitter – You gave them my email address. You deserve to fight in Afghanistan. Which side I no longer care.
2. Photo-sharing service invite: Yes, I recommended it. To keep my inbox clutter-free. I really didn’t want to join to see your “private photos”. Just make ‘em public. Or print them out and mail ‘em to me.

So, what should we send each other via email?

1. Money: Best emails I ever got were from PayPal.
2. Evites: a bachelor party, lunch (your treat), your wedding, exciting all-expense paid trip to Denmark.
3. Nothing else: take a breath. It will be better. I promise.

How can I implement these email rules before I jump off the internet and into outer darkness?

1. Quit: Kill your current email address that friends have. Without warning.
2. Get new email address: People hate changing their address books. But you’ll spare them by not announcing it.
3. Follow all advice above: Once you stop emailing them, and their emails to you bounce, and all they get from you are letters via U.S. Mail (or nothing if they aren’t worthy), then, hey, problem solved.
4. Thank me: Aw, shucks. It was nothing. You’re welcome. You can simply link to this post to thank me. Don’t thank me via email.
5. Go live life you had before: You’re free. You can visit friends again (in person!), enjoy sending and receiving letters, and having a normal number of friends who you actually know you (i.e. less than 200) and who actually care a bit about you.

Inspiration

• Book: The Tyranny of E-mail: The Four-Thousand-Year Journey to Your Inbox – John Freeman
• Blog, soon-to-be Book: Inbox Zero – Merlin Mann

I asked them why they needed Office. I looks from them, as if to say, “Well, doesn’t everyone in the whole world need Office?”.

I give them alternate advice, but lose them in a fog of geek speak. They don’t recover, and drive to nearest retail outlet and buy the first copy of Microsoft Office that the 19-year old salesperson tells them is “good”.

In this economy, I can’t imagine why anyone would spend a dollar more than they absolutely had to – particularly when many alternatives are better.

Two types of applications

1. Desktop application: This software is installed on your computer. It runs directly from your own machine. The data you create with a “desktop app” is saved on your own computer somewhere.
2. Web application: No installation is needed. You sign-up with an email address and create an account with the company that offers the web app. Web apps can cost money, but usually in the form of a small monthly payment. For example, Basecamp, a popular web app that is used for project planning, has plans ranging from free to $149/month.

Advantages of web apps

1. Not tied to one computer: Committing your data to a single computer is not only counter-productive, but even dangerous. You’ve heard the horror stories of hard-drive failure. While no one should trust a web app entirely, most reliable web apps are managed by a team of computer gurus who, quite likely, know far more about data storage than you or I. Many online web apps allow you to export your data for traditional backup.
2. Easy to share: You may want to quickly share some favorite bookmarks, or a list of your favorite songs. You may also want to collaborate with just a few people, not the entire internet. Web apps easily allow you to do this.

The Office dilemma

Unless your employer requires Microsoft Office, avoid it.  I’m not degrading Office (I have 3 versions of it), but most people don’t have a reason to use it.

If you want a desktop app you can use on your machine that is equally as powerful as Microsoft Office, use Sun’s OpenOffice. It has a word processor, spreadsheet, presentation creator (PowerPoint equivalent), database creator, and a great drawing tool. (See them all here).

However, I’d recommend Google Docs, a free web-based mini-suite of similar apps. While not as strong as Office or OpenOffice, it’s dead simple to use. If you need to write a letter, create a simple document, chart some stocks, Google docs is great. It makes it very easy to share and collaborate with others. Why email a document for someone to proofread and comment on? Just share it with Google Docs and give that person rights to edit it. Don’t worry, your prior versions are still saved.

There’s also Zoho Apps, a more robust online solution, although not as widely used perhaps.

Microsoft has been slowly moving Microsoft Office itself online. In the near future, you won’t “buy” Office, but rent it month-to-month online..

Think I’m out on a limb? Even Time Magazine recommends you try an web app.

Email

I recommend switching to an online web-based email provider. You might have fetched your email online before and thought it was a pain. That’s likely because you were using the web-based interface that your email host (or internet provider) setup for you.

Time to switch. Try Gmail. It’s free. It’s superior to many others. I estimate my time spent on email has dropped in half since using it. Most email problems people have would be eliminated if they were using Gmail.

It doesn’t mean you have to switch email addresses. You can use Gmail to manage your existing email addresses. Here’s a great comparison if you need more proof. Here’s information to help you migrate your old Outlook-based email to Gmail.

If you simply can’t make the switch to an online web app to handle your email, then before you spend any money on Outlook, download and use Thunderbird. Version 3.0+ is better than Outlook.

Inspiration

• Website: 2.0 Websites – A list of Websites by Application Type
• Blog Post: Web Apps for Students
• Blog Post: How to Run your Business using only Web Apps
• Blog Post: 20 Different Ways to Manage your To-Do’s (not all web-based)
• Book: Google Powered: Productivity with Online Tools
• Book: Upgrade Your Life: The Lifehacker Guide to Working Smarter, Faster, Better